Happy holidays America!
Here's your early X-Mas gift!
No, no, go ahead and unwrap it while we watch, it's okay.
Let's see...hmm...just let me unwrap this end here...oh, you taped it up and packaged it so well, it's taking me extra time here to get into it!
Okay, I unwrapped it...oh, a box! I wonder what's in the box? Oh, that's right, I need to read the note first!
The note says: "Courtesy of the United States Senate, Washington D.C. Have a relaxing, pleasant, and HEALTHY holiday."
Just then I notice that something's starting to stink, and I proceed to open the box...
"Wow! Thank you! I've always wanted this! My very own health care reform SHIT SANDWICH for X-Mas! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
Boy am I glad I'm an Independent right now. Should I hang my hat on that? Sure. With pride. That'll do.